Currently Origin of Symmetry By Muse see related

Anime Review: Shinigami Trilogy

Like the western comic book industry, a large portion of manga produced seems to be devoted to one shots and miniseries. Unlike comic books, though, short tales in the manga realm are rarely tied to other properties, like a comic event storyline or crossover. Incidently, we see very few cross-overs in manga outside the random omake feature, but that's beside the point.

The point is that stories meant for short runs give writers and artists a chance to tell a good story without being mired in pomp, circumstance, and annoying anime licensing. But sometimes, one finds a stoy that could have gone longer, or in the case of Shinigami Trilogy, should have gone longer.

***Shinigami Trilogy Review***

Before we begin, I need to clarify that this isn't an actual trilogy, but rather a six-part miniseries, basically enough to fill one book and no more. So why is it called Shinigami Trilogy? The simple answer is I don't know. It's one of those meaningless titles people like to throw around, like Bleach or OJ Simpson: If I Did It, Here's How It Happened. It means exactly nothing. Okay, so it has Shinigami in it, and are important to the plot, so I guess this title only means half of nothing.

Speaking of Deth Death, the story involves a Shinigami who is apparently the most loser person on the planet, as he falls in love with some weak-bodied girl in a hospital while waiting for some old guy to die. The old guy is like the most lecherous pervert on the planet, but somehow gets to go to heaven. But this story isn't about him, or it shouldn't be since he contributes nothing save a kind of mentoring to our protagonist, Furoku. Despite this, he gets his own subplot, which in the end accomplishes nothing.

Anyway, Himeka, the girl Furoku has his eyes on, is set to die due to complications involved with heart surgery (see malpractice), and is also set to go to hell. Turns out Himeka is the most evil person on the planet, manipulating those around her with her fake charms, reading Mein Kampf, and plotting to one day take over the world. (And you thought I'd be so creatively bankrupt as to use the M Bison clip again). Well, being the love-struck idiot that he is, Furoku takes issue with this turn of events and decides to give up some of his own life to save hers, essentially giving the middle finger to one of his associates, a fellow Shinigami named Maya. Maya, as it turns out, doesn't seem to think that to be dangerous or unnatural by any stretch of the imagination, and just leaves.

And here we come to the first major hurdle with this story: why did no one think to stop Furoku from doing this? Aren't their regulations for Shinigami to follow? This speaks of being very unprofessional, not to mention potentially hazardous to the balance of life and death. I could understand if maybe she was a good person, but she isn't. She's generically evil, and they essentially allowed her life to be tied to Furoku, making her technically immortal. No one thought this might have been, in some form or another, incredibly bad?

Well, as it turns out, Himeka's new life and immortality is very bad, and it did result in a major disruption of the natural course of life and death. See, after Furoku becomes Himeka's manservent (more on that later), he more or less teaches her how to channel the power of his schythe, which has the inexplicable ability to alter the fabric of causality. As such, this could only result in the two, as well as a handful of Himeka's "friends," being transported to Hell. Long story short, a gate between Earth and Hell solidifies, and Himeka manages to pull hitherto-unknown superpowers out of her underaged(?) ass, allowing her to force the whole of the armies of Hell to her whims. And then she takes over the world.

If it seemed like I just skipped a bunch of stuff, I really didn't. That's essentially the gist of how things went down. She just goes into hell, becoming less-weak (most likely a result of her being so evil), and bends both Hell and Earth to her command. And after the management change and the merger (demons, humans, and the dead all run around together like it's nothing), everyone seems strangely okay with it. I mean, everyone holds parades and seems elated to be oppressed by their new tyrant, not that there seems to be any evidence of Himeka's reign being one of terror.

Which brings me to the next major problem with Shinigami Trilogy: Himeka is by far one of the most inconsistant and confusing characters I've ever seen. The manga keeps hammering home that she's absolutely evil, or rather the "most extreme evil." Yet what exactly has she done that's so evil? Read Mein Kampf? Dream about ruling the world? Taking pleasure in slaughtering demons that were attacking her first? Manipulating others for her own devices? Okay, so these qualities are all indicative of evil behavior, but it never seems natural. It always comes off as forced, like trying to make Robert Pattinson look like he's really in love with Kristen Stewart's character in the Twilight movies, or vice versa. I'm not buying it.

Whats more, despite her generally selfish persona she wears, she also spends much of the latter three chapters saving her friends and protecting Furoku from harm. She also develops feeling for Furoku at the end ... or at least I think she does. It's really terribly unclear as to what the hell her feelings for anyone are, and her motivation is so skewed and ill-defined that she seems more like a hodge-podge of character cliches, all of which contradict both her words and actions. She's supposed to be an evil witch, but everyone falls in love with her on sight, like she's Sicks or something. Unlike Sicks, however, Himeka isn't the least bit compelling as a character. And she doesn't have people cut themselves in half for kicks, but that's another matter.

And let's not forget Furoku becoming Himeka's manservent (see bitch). I can kind of understand him wanting to be her love slave - although not entirely, seeing as how she has the body of a ten year old and has no redeeming qualities - but why does he let her push him around like that? It's his life that keeps her alive, his powers, and his schythe. If anything, she should be the one taking orders from him, since I would think he would be able to pull the plug on her at any time if he felt like it. But no, he becomes just a handbag for her, doing exactly nothing to advance the plot. He's more of a plot contrivance than an actual character.

By the end of the story, I'm left profoundly unsatisfied. I knew what had happened and how, but the why still eludes me. Everything occured at a rate that normally would engender immense shame, like a man who finishes too early. In fact, my experience with Shinigami Trilogy is very much akin to a woman having been left unsatisfied by her lover. Sure, it was fun for a while, but then it ended too fast and I hadn't had my fill.

This metaphor, however, is immensly uncomfortable to write about, so I promise never to make it again.

Currently Origin of Symmetry By Muse see related

Comparison Review: Yu Gi Oh Manga Vs. TV Series

Going back to school carries with it a certain effect, or rather it's supposed to. Previously, I used to have my vacations filled with plenty of time, but nothing worth reviewing, only to have me think up a billion things I could be reviewing during classes, yet little time to do them. This was how it was back in fall of 2009. This week, however, has brought an instance contradictory to the earlier rule, as I had niether much time nor anything I wanted to review this week. I was drawing a huge blank.

It wasn't like I had a shortage of things to do. But for the last week or two, I began watching the old Yugioh Abridged episodes by Little Kuriboh, and getting quiet a laugh at it. One thing led to another, and I started reading the manga online. Now, you may be thinking, "Yugioh? But that series is old and everyone else has already ripped on it and what 4Kids did to the show. What kind of loser would get into that now?" Well, some may recall that I compared the Pokemon manga and TV show some months back. And God only knows why Pokemon is still popular with the kids in its own way, despite having a terrible show that gets more terrible and in love with itself with each passing game tie-in series.

And yeah, this is going to be a biased review in favor of the mange version of Yugioh, but really only because, in the end, the manga is much, much better. This applies only to the first series in either case, and only on the fundamental differences.

***Comparison Review: Yugioh Manga Vs. Yugioh TV Series***

First, there's a misconception about the series that could use some rectifying. While the vast majority of the TV series is devoted to the card game (save perhaps season zero, which I've never seen), the manga's plot doesn't even mention it for the first volume or so, and then hasn't even come to revolve around it so far as I've read through it. I'm almost to chapter 50 in the manga, and Duel Monsters hasn't even been featured in even ten chapters. Remember Yugi's duel with Kaiba where he used Exodia? The manga only just passed that duel, and then went back to what it was already doing.

That is, of course, the character driven plotlines revolving around games in general, not just the card game. I hear season zero was also like that, but not nearly to the extent the manga was. And while the card games in the TV show were at times exciting, the pacing of a TV anime that the show had to take ended up making duels stretch on for multiple episodes, especially as time went on. At least in the manga, any given game could be expected to end and be done with in one, maybe two chapters tops.

Also, when I say the manga was more exciting, I mean the cast of characters did things other than play card games, including but not limited to: going to theme parks, buying shoes, assisting each others love lives, going on game shows, protecting the innocent from thugs, playing games other than card games, and engaging in actual, factual violence, including violence involving yo-yos. Yes, as it turns out Yugioh was originally a very violent show, with characters like Jounouchi (Joey) and Honda (Tristan) actually getting into fistfights at the slightest provacation, and usually winning. In fact, thats all these guys do when it comes down to it.

Which brings us to character development, and while the anime did a pisspoor job at that, I can blame it chiefly on its primary failing: it focused more on the cards and the world domination plots than it did on its own characters. Take the main character, Yugi Moto, for example. How much do we know about Yugi as a character from just the anime? Well, he solved the Millennium puzzle, lives with his grandpa, is a total wuss, can't solve his own problems without help from others, has no onscreen parents, believes in the heart of the cards, and is a member of the church of friendship. That's about it. No matter how you slice it, TV Yugi is practically two-dimensional, if not factually so. Manga Yugi, on the other hand, is interested in many games from complex to juvenule, does poorly in school, has an overactive sense of justice, and is actually kind of a pervert. So he's a well rounded chracter, wereas his anime counterpart is more characeture than character.

This applies also to most of the characters in the manga in relation to their anime selves. Jounouchi is a delinguent as opposed to just a loser like Joey, Honda is more of a badass than Tristan's incidental nature, and Anzu is genuinely useful from time to time unlike Tea. And while many chracters have yet to appear in the manga than they do in the anime, the manga is populated by a plethora of secondary and bit characters that, while less individualized, end up filling as their niches more spendedly than just as cardboard cutouts to serve their individual dueling styles, ala the anime.

Pacing, of course, is also an area where the manga shines, since right now it focuses more on telling individuel tales rather than dragging through prolonged plot arcs. Tournaments are unknown in the manga, since Duel Monsters has yet to emerge as a major plot element. Again, I know nothing of later chapters, but as of yet the manga hasn't fallen into the Dragon Ball Z trap, with ever expanding arcs taking characters to ever more rediculous vistas of raw power and letting good character design fall by the wayside. It also means it doesn't have all characters adopting the same manner or style of problem solving, which either makes it impossible to have other, more specialized fighters to contribute anything, or force characters that never would have changed into carbon copies of everyone else.

The fault of the anime comes from the fact that, barring season zero, has the standard duel format of plot structure being established from the get go. I know that this came from a combination of 4Kids desiring to avoid all that messy violence and the great desire to promote the Yugioh card game in real life. For these reasons, there is no violence, no gore, no problem solving or activities besides card games, and no death.

Did I mention the death? Well, this may come as a surprise to those who only saw the anime, but the manga is a much darker, more mature product. And I don't mean like the animated shows on Adult Swim, which are in fact more immature the television shows meant for children, but rather in the gritty realistic situations and conflicts (take "realsitic" with mountanous grains of salt). The TV show exists in some alter Earth where absolutely everyone plays card games, and there is no form of entertainment or means of dispute settlement other than that. Oh, and friendship defies all laws. The manga has most conflicts resolved either by simple, and often times life-threatening games, or by good old fashioned asskicking.

Most of these games are played by Dark Yugi against whoever happens to be the antagonist at the time, and usually end with someone getting hurt, killed, psychologically demolished, or even rendered souless in some cases. Really, one guy crosses Yugi and he gets his soul stuffed in a jar. And remember again when Kaiba dueled Yugi and got his ass handed to him? Yugi didn't just destroy his evil side, he shattered the guy's soul, rendering him catatonic. Do not mess with Yugi's friends, or he will end your ass! With ancient Egyptian mind bullets!

Not to say that this is always the case. As the series goes on, more emphasis is placed on not only the card game, but also on everything that accompanied it. Namely, the TV show's obsession with teamwork, solidarity, and friendship. Now, I like friendship as much as the next guy (or less, considering my own nature), but there's only so long you can push such things down my throught before I come to detest the taste. Most importantly, these values come to miss the whole point of the value they're trying to promote. Sure, in the TV show and some of the manga, the whole team gives their support to Yugi or whoever, but in the end its up to Yugi himself to solve the problems. At least with the manga's early parts, the teamwork made some sense, because the main cast always had each others backs, and aided each other directly. And this usually meant having multiple facets of a conflict that required different skill sets to solve.

All in all, I can't exactly or fully compare the two series on account of the fact that I haven't finished the manga, and it's been a while since I've seen the actual anime. But one thing is for certain: the anime (especially the 4Kids version) sucks the root, while the manga is darker, more mature, and capable of creating a more complex plot than just have Yugi go to point A, have a duel with one obsessive freak, wash rinse repeat ad nausium, until the main bad is confronted and defeated.

Currently Our Live Album Is Better Than Your Live Album By Reel Big Fish see related

Say Hello to Black Jack Review

Back to class, and things are going reasonably well so far. Started up with all but one of this semester's courses, and hopefully this one will end up better than the last one.

So to celebrate my return to the outside world - as if I was eager to do so, the outside world being what it is - I've decided to review a manga I've been reading lately, called Say Hello to Black Jack. How does it stack up?

...well, let's just say it doesn't.

***Say Hello to Black Jack Review***

Not to be confused with Black Jack, an anime about an unlicensed doctor with a huge surgical scar across his face, providing medical care where the "establishment" won't, so long as the price is right. No, Say Hello to Black Jack is about a recent med school graduate who interns at a University Hospital, and systematically alienates or annoys the entirety of the Japanese medical system by being incorregable, immature brat when it comes to the corruption involved with Japanese medicine. Both involve doctors, but beyond that I see no reason for them to be called by similiar names.

Ever since Urasawa Naoki's Monster - which turned out to be less of a medical and more of a psychological, revenge-getting drama - I've been on the lookout for a good medical drama. Not to say that Monster wasn't a good story, it just felt like a bait and switch. With the switch being for a good story in its own right, just not a medical drama at its core. Say Hello to Black Jack is the polar opposite of Monster: it is a medical drama, but it is not good. My search continues.

So the story stars Saitou, a recent med school grad who interns at Eiroku University Medical Center, a prominant Japanese University hospital that, as Saitou soon learns, is actually corrupt as all get out. This type of thing would make for a good story, if the main character wasn't a whining, brooding, immature, and naive manchild who lives in an over-idealised fantasy world.

Okay, so the medical system of Japan is dominated by University Professors, whose words are law. So these professors also do nothing but research on their own without doing any major surjuries themselves, and yet hold absolute authority over every major University hostipal as opposed to the doctors that actually save the lives of their patients on an individual level. So you have to be a part of these Doctor's organizations, or be relegated to lone wolf doctor status that will never get you ahead in life. Why the hell is all of this your problem, Saitou!? You're an intern whose scholorship is at the whim of the University professors, barely able to afford necessities by also working a night shift at a small private hospital specializing in car accident patients. I think maybe you have more pressing things to worry about than how to change the status quo to your ideal vision.

I really dislike this guy. Like a certain political leader, Saitou bitches about how bad the medical system is, yet ignores the fact that these things can't easily be changed by one person. Unlike said politician, this guy has an even smaller ability to change things for the better.

In one instance, Saitou is given charge over a comatose old man who was operated on by the hospital when his family gave them 1 million yen (a little less than $10000 American). The doctor above Saitou who gave him this assignment, a man obsessed with fixing the system by cutting out wasteful spending, tells our main that he shouldn't provide any more treatment to prolong the old guy's life, on account that he has no chance of recovery, and would simply be a drain on the taxpayers. Of course, Saitou has none of it, and defies his immediate superior by continueing to provide the guy medicine and keep him on life support. And even when it's clear the man has suffered so much brain damage that he couldn't come around, Saitou puts him back on life support even when he was already taken off.

Now, I'm not one to say that all comatose patients should be euthanized if they have little forseeable chance of recovery. Far from it, in fact. But in this case, we know the guy will die, we know that the previous surgery was a waste of time and resources. But Saitou still thinks he can save this old guy in his 90s. I agree with the older doctor, that keeping the man alive would only put more of a burden on the Japanese taxpayers. Saitou goes to great lengths and expense to keep alive a man who dies soon after anyway, and in fact does so with more regard for his own personel feelings than that of either the man or his family. Hell, the old guy would probably want to die, rather than put such a huge burden on his family and the doctors.

Or how about when Saitou is placed in charge of a man in need of a bipass, as well as having great liver problems that make stopping the man's heart for the surgery a great risk as well. And since the surgical staff at the University hospital are all people who perform maybe four such surgeries a year per surgeon, the guy is pretty much screwed so long as he remains there. So, in defiance of the professors - defiance that nearly gets him kicked out and his scholorship undone with all the bills needed to be paid - Saitou goes out and finds a retired surgeon who could do the operation better. And even when he arranges for an operation to occur, he bitches and whines until he can get the experienced doctor out of retirement for this one operation, even though said doctor's successor is perported to be just as good. Saitou causes trouble for everyone, and loses his part-time job in the process (without which Saitou can't live because his pay at the University hospital is too low), all just to save one guy. I know every life is sacred, but it isn't Saitou's responsibility to do all that for one patient.

While I agree with Saitou's view on an ideal world by principle, his expectations are simply not practical. And while the Japanese medical system is indeed corrupt, Saitou shouldn't be working so hard to change it one patient at a time when he has far more pressing personal needs to attend to. Oh, and Saitou is an insufferable manchild who literally pitches a temper tantrum when he doesn't get his way. But what's worse is that not only does he throw said fits and bawl his eyes out (all while making hideous faces), but those around him end up giving him what he wants all the time. This is the kind of entitlement bullcrap that spoils children, and these professionals are letting him get away with this crap. In the real world, Saitou would have been fired or demoted for his shennanigans.

I mentioned how bad Saitou looks when he pitches a fit, but really, this trend of ugly art persists throughout the series. Characters are not handsome most of the time, and are usually ass-ugly. This wouldn't be a problem if the artist just stuck to making them realistic, but these character designs aren't just bad. They're insufferable. Not to mention the many cases of male nudity sprinkled throughout, which just makes me wonder as to what is wrong with the creators of this series.

Maybe if the art was better, and the main character was more mature and less likely to throw a temper tantrum every time he doesn't get what he thinks is right, then perhaps this could have made for a good, exciting hospital drama. As it stands, however, these flaws do exist, and therefore make Say Hello to Black Jack a load of garbage not worth looking into. It certainly has no right to have "Black Jack" in its name, as if it has anything close to the same level of quality as Black Jack.

Currently Origin of Symmetry By Muse see related

Anime Review: Blue Submarine No. 6

It's been quite some time since my previous anime review. In fact, the last one I wrote, to my recollection, was the last review for the Higurashi anime (on a related note, it would behoove me to continue with those, since I only got about half-way through). My time, since those reviews, has mostly been spent writing movie reviews, as well as reviews of some games. But mostly movies, a habit which has limited me to primarily the work of your standard bad movie reviewer.

To make amends, here is a review of a four part OVA series that was released in the late nineties. It's one of those series that the Cartoon Network aired on its Toonami anime block, and this one in particular stuck out with me for years, despite me forgetting what it was even called until recently.

***Blue Submarine No. 6***

There's something about Blue Submarine No. 6 that sticks out in my mind, and has done so since I first saw it many years ago. It has everything going for it that normally would make me hate it: prominant Al Gorian plot point of the world being flooded by the ice caps being melted, pervasive use of CG, and a let's-all-get-along subtext that makes me gag violently. It's as if the series was tailored specifically to disgust me. Yet despite these and other flaws, I have to say I enjoyed the series.

The animation is divided into two types, each transitioning to the other with an audible clunk: traditional (presumably cell) animation and pre-millennium CG. The former is done very well, with character designs that range from adorable to beautifully hideous. Not a single character that I saw struck me as being badly designed, nor were any of the hand-drawn locations. Unfortunately, the latter is pervasive in all action sequences involving sub-marine combat, of which there was plenty.

Just to clarify, I'm niether a man who hates all CG nor one who adores it. For me, CG is a tool to be used sparingly, like a thick meat sauce. When it is used to bring to life that which would be impossible to create by other means effectively, CG can truely shine. But in this case, while the CG was pretty good for the time, I still think that I would have prefered to have all the action animated.

The flow of the narrative and the action worked, but tended to do so just barely because of the fast pace that must be maintained. If the series had been stretched to a five part OVA as opposed to a four part one, I think the series would have flowed better. As it stands, plot points are driven home but the audience is given little time to breath. On the one hand this is good, since there's never a moment when the action or the advancement of the story stops, and the audience left to stare at the characters just sitting around doing nothing. Even when the characters are just sitting around, they're always doing something that advances the plot.

On the other hand, because of the pacing, many plot points are forced to be rushed, and I noticed at least of couple of instances where a plot point is raised, but never satisfied, or is done so in a rushed, haphazard manner. Additionally, I can only assume that much of the character backstory is fleshed out in the manga, because only the main characters are given any backstory within the OVA, and then only very breifly, to the point where the audience is forced to guess at what the hell happened.

But after all the faults of the series, I still can't dislike Blue Submarine No. 6. I chalk much of this on Nostalgia, because the influence this series had on me as a child, at least so far as the imagery is concerned, cannot be denied. In fact, I think is was the imagery that most endeared me to this series.

Of particular note, and a factor that I remembered most from years ago, was the chimara woman Mutio. And no, it's not because she was a hot naked fish-woman, because this was back before puberty so I never noticed this kind of thing (kind of makes me wonder at how much the original air was censored, or how someone could get away with uploading the series on YouTube without getting it banned for nudity). It was the general form, the appearence of these fish women that stuck in my mind for many years, though the memories faded with age and me not having really paid all that much attention anyway. It's a hard thing to convey, how things from the past influence our imaginations.

But again, not like that. Grow up.

Another thing that got lost in the shuffle of the fast pace was the lack of any significant romance. While I'm not complaining that the protagonist Hayami never develops a relationship with any of the female characters, the fact remains that the OVA seemed intent on at least setting up for what could have been a romance between Hayami and two female characters, young officer Mayumi or fish-girl Mutio. In fact, the impression that I got was that Mutio developed feelings for the human, an attraction akin to a Romeo & Juliet scenereo, except more compelling. (I consider Romeo & Juliet to be one of the most overrated romance stories ever, but then I'm no expert on romance). But as is the want of this series, there just wasn't enough time to fully develop a romance with either Mutio or Mayumi, the latter of which I found to be intensly annoying character-wise.

The final episode ends on a bittersweet note, but also on a confusing note. Yes, the two sides end up reaching an understanding and the conflict is resolved, but then it just ends. The climax occured, I suppose, but then there was barely any falling action to wrap up the loose ends and give closure. As a result, one ends up with more questions than answers, like the series was missing about twenty minutes of material. Blue Submarine suffers from not being long enough to convey the story it was trying to tell. An otherwise great (if pretensious) story and a wonderfully stylized world was limited by a four half-hour episodic format.

If I had to describe Blue Submarine no. 6 as a sort of food, I'd say it's a cake with primarily blue icing. It tastes good, although is woefully just a common vanilla flavor, yet nonetheless a tasty confection. An artistic baker made it look great on the outside, but used a little too much frosting in relation to the cake. And while it might have been very good, someone unfortunately marred it by adding a spoonful of dirt on top, and the thing was cut in half so we can only enjoy an incomplete product. But taken as a whole, that half of a cake is still pretty darn tasty.

Currently American Empire: Blood & Iron By Harry Turtledove see related

First Impressions: Alice in Wonderland (2010) Trailer

***First Impressions: Alice in Wonderland (2010) Trailer***

Are you freaking kidding me with this shit?! Is Hollywood so creatively bankrupt that it would permit another film adaptation of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland? No wait, the very fact that they're making a film about air-drumming pretty much answers that question.

First, we have the Disney logo, and I can already feel the strength in my veins falter when I see that the kings of bastardization, the Disney Corporation, has gone back to its roots in bastardizing Alice. I loved Lewis Carroll's original story. It was a masterpiece of whimsy and metaphorical imagery. Now we can say that not only has Disney ruined the story, it's set to ruin it twice.

Anyway, we have someone I can only assume is Johnny Depp - apparently the new star of all live action Disney movies exploring mature themes - narrating about how you need to be mad as a hatter to survive in Wonderland. Among the scenes we see is a much older Alice walking through the jungle with the white rabbit and the twins that were never in the original book, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. The last two were in the sequal to the original book, Behind the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There, not the original, and are therefore not even denizens of Wonderland at all. But, of course, this is a sequal (ish) of the animated movie, so this kind of continuity error means nothing.

Also, why does Alice need to be so bloody old in this film. Sure, she's only 19, but then again she's nineteen! With this, you're completely missing the point of the book. Whatever, moving on.

Then comes the man himself, Johnny Depp. I will admit, he does take the whole Mad Hatter persona to a whole new level. Also, it's not the "Mad Hatter." In the original book, he was just called "The Hatter." He was a Hatter who was also mad, but then you don't need to go around saying that because, as it's made clear throughout the story, everyone in Wonderland is off their meds. It's just redundant.

We also are shown that this is a sequal to the events of the previous adventure, as all the main characters are present and glad that Alice is back. This also gets my gorg to rim, whenever they decide to create an unofficial sequal where Alice comes back. It barely worked in American McGee's Alice, if at all. And now we have Tim Burton doing the same thing: making a dark sequal that spits in the established story's face. I like Tim Burton's work, except for when he tries making an adaptation to a classic story. It didn't work with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and it won't work here!

So the story goes that since Alice left Wonderland - I don't know why she wouldn't, what with Wonderland being such a silly place - the Red Queen has taken control of everything. Here's another thing I don't like about adaptations of the original story: if you create a sequal, you pretty much have to make the Red Queen the villian. There's just one problem: like the Tweedle-retards, the Red Queen was never in Wonderland to begin with. In short, she has nothing to do with it at all. More importantly, these adaptations ignore the children's book flavor of the originals. Niether the Queen of Hearts nor the Red Queen were villians in their respective stories. Whenever the Queen of Hearts ordered an execution, her husband the king would secretly pardon them and never get in trouble. And the Red Queen wasn't a tyrant so much as a political leader in the middle of a war (see glorified chess match). Niether of these were villians, and niether were they antagonists. The original stories were about the world's themselves, not about grand plots or fights to be fought.

Another thing of note is some kind of horrible monster that the bad guys are apparently using in this film. There's no information in the trailer to explain what it is, but being a fan of the book I can guess it's probably the giant dog that Alice encounters near the beginning of the second act. And now I'm depressed, because they even see fit to bastardize a character barely anyone not a fan of the book would remember.

Long story short, the old gang expect Alice to go and fix this mess, although I still have no idea how the Red Queen, a character that was never in Wonderland to begin with, could have become ruler of Wonderland. Did this version of Alice de-throne the old Queen of Hearts in her previous visit? If she did, then of course there's going to be a power vacuum that needs filling, and I guess another monarch (albeit one from an entirely different dimension) is as good a standin as any. Also, why do you have the Red Queen shouting execution orders for beheading? That was the Queen of Heart's thing! Does Tim Burton think people won't notice this? And don't even get me started on the pig footrest thing, as blazingly stupid as it is.

But all that doesn't matter, since we get right into the thick of the conflict between the Red Queen and here forces against the -uhg...- White Queen's forces, and how Alice is to be the Champion of the White...chess...piece...

RAWR!!!!! So stupid! Stupid stupid stupid! This is Wonderland! You can't have characters and in fact whole armies from an entirely different universe fighting in Wonderland and expect it to make any sense! It's like expecting us to believe that the armies of the French and the British to be fighting in China! It makes no sense!

Tim Burton is a very good filmaker. He's very good at building original worlds, dark worlds that both horrify and amuse the audience. This, however, falls apart when you get him to take a well-known property, especially a literary property, and give him total creative control to just change it into exactly what he wants it to be. And when he does that, he ends up putting darkness where it doesn't belong, and ends up screwing the pooch. The only time such a thing has worked is his Batman adaptations, and those were excellent because the Batman universe was already morbid and macabre to begin with.

But even more to blame is Disney, which has a habit of touching things and ruining them as a result. What they did with the old animated film was to change it dramatically, but such changes there could be forgiven due to simple creative license, and it worked. This trailer, however, shows the Dsiney process concentrated into a finer, more powerful toxin that doesn't even maintain the original tone that made the story so memorable.